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We’ve all been to weddings and me, some more. When you step into my shoes, you’d think you’ve seen it all. A beautiful bride’s teary eyes walking down the aisle , a dashing groom’s too-wide smile, the bridesmaids holding each others’ hands smitten, the proud parents, the works.

From an emcee’s point of view, it seems all the same. It’s another wedding day. I got surprised that my reaction to this was different. I shared this moment with the celebrants, it was overwhelming. That blessed Saturday, i was not #thehost but a #weddingguest.

If you know what a host goes through during events, the chaos, the backstage clutter, the fast-pacing organizers, a never-ending backstage moment, you kind of lose-touch of what a wedding day feels like. On a normal day, I would accept a hosting job in a heartbeat, I love my role as an emcee but that Saturday, I wanted to be in the backseat for once. I have repeatedly called in the entourage, and of course the bride and groom but I never thought I’d be as excited being part of it, now that I’ve delved into the world of weddings and nuptials and however you may call it.

I’ve known most of my best friend Jr’s history and seeing him through this day made that extra special. And just as special, I’ve only met Hannah on that day because our schedules never met, nonetheless, I am very glad to know how happy they make each other. On a side note, being in an 4 all-men click, we weren’t really as fond of taking our photos together unless it’s a very special occasion. It made me/ us realize how much time we’ve lost and all the best memories of moments that passed that we never got to record we’ll never recover…

So going back to this wedding…

You know those same-day edit videos that they show during the reception? I always thought the smiles on the takes are just fabricated by the photographer/director. I was (and glad to be) very wrong. The smiles that come out may have been induced by the photographers but what comes out are real moments, real emotions, and shared happiness that radiates toward the viewers. I can’t explain it either but you can only understand it once you’re there. You can just be that happy for your friends about to get married.

IMG_0082There were 4 tomcats, Francis, Cuki, Jr (the recent groom) and myself. We’re now down to Francis and I and we can’t wait for the next big event that will bring us together as men and wives.

IMG_0087To Hannah, you are wonderful. Your energy is beautiful. You have good, loving and supportive friends and family which is always the best to feel like home when you start a good family. We may have spoken very few times and have seen each other only once but I can get a person during their best and worst times. I’ve seen the best (and happiest) and I do not wish to know the worst. To Jr, “tsong”…you’ve been around when I needed you guys and you’re always ready to support. You may not know how to dance but you’ve done it for your bride so I’m guessing it’s a win-win for everyone. Do not let your fear of feathery friends come between you and your wife, it just takes some thick clothing and probably a stick to get rid of them. You’ve proven to do your best when you put your mind into it so I’m sure you’ll make a great husband and father. Always hold your head up high…why…no comment on that.

An Emcees role is to lead everyone to the program. Let God be your Emcee and let Him lead the way. I totally enjoyed being in your entourage as much as I do hosting on other days. Congratulations and I’m always here for you both.

p.s.
I would have loved being your host but why ruin an already perfect wedding? No regrets there.

. Congratulations and I’m always here for you both. p.s. I would have loved to be your host but why ruin an already perfect wedding? No regrets there.

JR and Hannah by Nicolai Melicor

An emotional, physical, mental and spiritual rollercoaster. It’s an everyday adventure. You meet and speak with different people, breathe different air everytime. An overall sensory experience.

Each year I get older, and my greatest takeaway from my life of 32 years is that I’ve wasted it in regrets. Last year, I took upon myself that I face my new year in a different perspective. I embraced my faults and weaknesses and strengthen all the good times with good memories. I make the most of every moment. I may not have had enough money to go places, do things, but I always walk away from moments with deep remembrance.

I have learned a couple of things to self-motivate. In my darkest times, the hardest challenges, you have to make choices. It is up to you to suffer or walk on. There were times I’ve dwelled but I made a choice to survive.

Each memory serves as a page of a book I learn from and These knowledge I’ve been happy to share.

To everyone who has been there for me, have stuck around because you know my worth, to the ones who have entrusted their emotions to me, to those who have had undying patience in waiting for me to learn and mature, to those whom I’ve hurt but have forgiven me, those people whom I may have neglected but are still seeing me through, to all the times I couldn’t show up and hangout with you and spend time….THANK YOU. From 32years and beyond, I give out my sincerest thanks and praises to everyone with (or even those who are not with) me for completing who I am.

Now Dear Lord, let’s get on with the next 32 years

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imageBeing associated to a public figure has its ups and downs. Being a brother to one has more. This entry is the answer to most of your questions that I am willing to share, to share no more.

I’ve been thrown a lot of related questions but that one line bowls me over and for almost a decade now, I still do not know what to answer to… “Bakit ikaw, hindi mag-artista?” (In english- why don’t you also become an actor?)

While it is fun, has lots of perks, and sharing the attention isn’t so bad. There are people who are just giddy about this fact and I dont’t want to take this away from them but at the same time, some can’t hold their excitement that my personal space has been invaded time and again.

If your brainwave is short, reading this might get you thinking I have low self-esteem or bitterness or just plain ranting. Please. I’ve gone through a lot to still experience that. For the life of me, I really do not like explaining it and neither do I want to discuss it for a million reasons but let me explain some…

1. It is an awkward disposition. If I did say I wanted to and didn’t get to become one, does it make me less or more of a person? Believe me, I’ve tried. If you’ve known me since college, you’d know how much I’ve tried. Also, admitting that I’d like to be in showbiz may make me seem like I am worthy of it. Some don’t think so…If I did deserve to be in showbiz, I probably would’ve been in it with the opportunities that I had. Which brings me to my next point…

2. I’ve been through different channels and I’ve had no support. Maybe because of some reasons I gave in #1. And again, believe me, I am not looking down on myself or have low confidence and shit. If things aren’t for you, it just isnt. I’ve been on radio, TV commercials, even on TV shows, but none of it was enough to get noticed. You need the right connections and exposure to get there. Apparently, I don’t.

3. The camera adds 10lbs. You know that sounds cliché and overused? No it’s not. When you see these actors on TV, you’d think their body is just the right proportion. They are actually smaller, or fitter or slimmer in person. Same effect to the fat ones, they are probably exactly or more than how they appear. In print, you can be photoshopped. Unless your makeup artist is also a sorcerer, that’s not gonna help you in front of the camera. Point is, I was chubby back then (probably even now) and my chemistry with the camera never took off.

4. It just doesnt work that way. You may have seen dynasties of showbiz family and how big actors can easily bring in their siblings or children into the glam world of showbiz. Not unless a prominent public figure completely surrender themselves and their privacy to the public, it is unlikely to happen. Not because your brother is an actor, you can have the same opportunity.

5. We (reader and I) might just not be that close for me to explain all this, and that is self-explanatory. You may settle for the reasons stated above. Should I have shared more, then it means I trust you with the details of my life and you are a good friend.

Do not get me wrong. I normally laugh about this and this “Million-Dollar Question” is something I get asked 2-3x average in a week and have been used to this. I’m not someone special to get this type of attention. I just feel like I have to make people understand that it’s not such a big deal compared to how they percieve the situation. Again, I don’t want to take it away from them but some just cross the line.

the reality of my everyday life: I commute on a daily basis, meaning I dont own a car. I rarely get to buy my own clothes. I get a P40 haircut and apply my own hair treatment. I don’t have the capacity to buy luxury items. I don’t get facials and neither do I have credits for an expensive fitness center. I have a good-paying job that pays the bills but is barely relevant to get noticed anywhere. I work on credits to feed my family and children. I am thankful for hand-me-down clothes and shoes from my brother. Other stuff I get to enjoy are sponsored or won sonewhere. I don’t dine out in fancy restaurants unless I get invited to it nor do I spend to get drunk in expensive bars. My latest iPhone was bought by my mom as a birthday gift but paid for half of it in installments. I am a normal guy trying to get by every day just like the rest of us as opposed to contrary belief, associated to a family name. Regardless of how much anyone earns, they are not obligated to provide luxury to anyone else. It is up to their generosity and good heart that they even share what they have, and care enough to make the ones they care for comfortable and help them live in comfort.

May I add how totally rude I find this (again) usual dialogue:

Person: where’s your car?

Me: I dont own one

Person: Really? Isn’t your brother an actor? Why doesnt he buy you one?

Me: (at this point, I normally just shrug or try to walk out of the conversation or answer in all honesty) why should be obligated to buy me one?

Person: because you’re his older brother

Me: all the more he should get me one. I could and should afford my own.

Person: (still doesnt get it up to this point)

I can’t understand why this is hard to understand? Anyway, bottomline is the Million-Dollar questions has a simple answer, things are just meant to be. Any more or any less is what God has for you and either you be contented with it or you go get yours.

For those who have celebrity friends or friends to celebrity siblings or affiliation, you get this. For those who don’t have any, please understand the person at the other end of your questions.

Whew…that quickly turned into a rant blog but I guess it’s best to educate.

Let’s slightly divert to other aspects of my profession.

Now technically, clients are my bosses. Their wish is my command-type of thing but the diversity of the new generation taught us that customers aren’t always right, and so are bosses.

When is a boss a terrible boss?

Allow me to share these insight and try to take logical points from the article to maybe understand where each is coming from and where you stand.

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Tough Boss or Bad Boss?
February 3, 2015
By Jack and Suzy Welch

Do tough bosses really get more out of their people? Of course they get short-term results, but do they really help a company win in the long run?

We’d say yes and yes! But how tough a boss seems may well depend on your own performance. There can be little debate about the fact that top performers with great results tend to worry and complain a lot less about tough bosses than those struggling to meet expectations. That may sound tough itself, but it’s reality.

Now, let’s talk about the meaning of tough. Without doubt, there are tough bosses who are nothing more than bullying, power-drunk jerks, and they’re brutal to work for. They callously push their people, take credit when things go right, point fingers when they don’t, and generally are very stingy with praise and rewards. They can also be moody, political, manipulative, secretive, outright mean, or all of the above. Of course, sometimes these tough bosses get good results. But it’s rarely for long. At any decent company, they are removed or they self-destruct, whichever comes first.

At the other of the spectrum, and equally as damaging to the business, are the “Is everybody happy?” bosses. Yes, they may be enjoyable to work for — getting paid was never so easy! — but their spinelessness typically translates into mediocre results. Why? At least three basic sins are at work:

· These “nice” bosses treat everyone with the same wimpiness
· They explain away misses without meting out consequences
· They change direction according to the needs and wishes of the last person in their office. In a word, they have no edge.

Somewhere between the two extremes, and probably closer to the hard end than the soft, are bosses who define the notion of tough the right way, and because of that manage to get strong, long-term performance from their people. It is not going too far to say that such bosses are actually the heroes of business, not the villains. They might not make everyone feel warm and fuzzy, but their good results create a healthy, fair work environment where people and the company prosper, where there is job security for employees who perform well, and value for shareholders. What more could you want?

To these types of bosses, tough means tough-minded. They set clear, challenging goals. They connect those goals with specific expectations. They conduct frequent, rigorous performance reviews. They reward results accordingly, with the most praise and the highest bonuses going to the most effective contributors and commensurate compensation levels distributed down the line, ending with nothing for nonstarters. They are relentlessly candid, letting everyone know where they stand and how the business is doing. Every single day, good tough bosses stretch people. They ask for a lot, and they expect to get it.

Does that make them hard to work for? Of course. But here’s where individual performance comes into play. If you’re up to the challenge, working for a tough boss can be incredibly energizing because you achieve in ways you never thought you could. However, if a tough boss raises the bar to a point where you are out of your league, then you’re likely to hate the experience. And if human nature is any guide, chances are you won’t blame yourself. You’ll blame the “tough” boss.

The point is: There are good tough bosses and bad ones, and which is which is often in the eye of the beholder. Again, we’re not talking about the egregious cases of jerk bosses who berate and belittle their people. Everyone hates them, and they deserve universal loathing.

We’re talking about bosses who operate in the middle ground — bosses who are tough but fair, push hard but reward in equal measure, and who give it to you straight.

Weak performers usually wish these bosses would go away. People who want to win seek them out.

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