By Moxx de Vera, Professional Host and Speaking Coach

 

Standing in front of people, in a crowd of a dozen to as big as stadium can be totally nerve wracking and 7 out of 10 people will say that it is not their thing. Not everyone was born to speak in public and definitely not everyone was bred to do this professionally.

Public speaking is a skill developed over achievements, failures and a variety of experience. While others just see someone speaking in front to deliver a message, the speaker finds it a whole lot different on the other side. Preparation, confidence and the ability to connect will always be key to say what is needed to be said in the best possible manner.

I have been a professional speaker as a live event host for 7 years now. I started as a radio jock and have gone over a wide variety of experience in different types of media. I grew into this role not having been able to learn this formally because there’s not much avenue to explore it with. There is no formal schooling for this skill. In the last 2 years, I realized that there’s a need to inform and educate the younger generation on how to do this. Gone were the days where everything was read in books and individuals would sit, listen and learn about something. Everything is online, on video, on blogs. So this is my attempt to reach that market, to educate and teach this as quick and as thorough as possible.

Main questions raised on starting to learn public speaking is, of course “how?”

To give you an idea on “how to,” this means you’re highly interested but have no clue, and that’s why you are reading this. Don’t worry, I am going to share with you some simple trade secrets that you are surely just ashamed to ask because you don’t want people to know you have no clue and you don’t know who to actually – ask.

  1. How do you prepare for public speaking?

Preparation is a very underrated method to succeed. This is the practice of the best and the most famous people and the newbies can’t wait to get from point A to C and forget to pass point B. Preparation can mean a whole planet of things: getting enough sleep, reading and researching for your topic, picking the right clothes, mapping out your notes, and more. Getting ahead a few days before will also do a lot for you.
Confidence starts by being self-assured. If you know what you’re going to say, what to answer, how to look and do things before people even think it, you are on your way to the top, actually doing those successfully means you have achieved it. Lawyers don’t come into a courtroom without a strategy, a game plan and a retort to every counter-defense the opposing team may have on them. Boxers prepare physically and mentally before every fight. They try to simulate the opponents condition, fight pattern and strategy and make sure to be better than their opponent with every strand of their being. With this, you have nothing more to fear.

 

So how do you prepare for a specific engagement? You go through your objectives and think of how you can tie them together with your goals. If it’s a speech, you can create a script, practice in front of a mirror. For key note speaking, rehearse your slides and prepare notes on an index card. If it’s hosting an event, research about who you’re doing it for, get to know the people involved, the crowd. If it’s a presentation, flip over your material back and forth and ask someone to listen to you if you can get the message across.

 

  1. How do you avoid nervousness and tension?

The body and brain works together to make a fine-tuned machine work. You think and your brain does. Nervousness is caused by lack of confidence because you lack preparation. This causes chemical reactions to your body which causes you to breathe lightly, causing your muscles to tense up, sweat builds up, your heart pounds and realizing that your body has reacted like this makes you even more nervous knowing you are already nervous.

 

You must know that muscles need blood to maintain vigor. Healthy blood needs oxygen and oxygen comes from relaxed deep breaths. Do this and your whole body and mind reacts positively. You’ll think more clear and you’ll be more confident.

 

  1. How do you connect to your audience?

In sales, they will have to teach you a few things to succeed. Profiling, probing and finding the common ground are few of the things a powerful salesman are good at.

Profiling – knowing your audience increases your chances to connect to them. Be relatable, be empathetic. It is rare that you’ll speak in front of a random crowd so just in case you don’t know your DEMOGRAPHICS, SOCIAL CLASS and their influences. For example, age groups between 18-21 are most likely college students. They definitely have shorter attention than adults so you have to be quick, entertaining and insightful in the first 5 minutes. Social class C-D won’t be able to relate to luxurious and glamorous ideas. A group of doctors will not have time listen to non-medical talks.

Probing – this simply means asking the right questions and zoning in to get to your goal and using the information you gathered to make your ideas stronger. Free speech also enables you to engage your audience and connect it to your point making it more impressive.

Common ground – is simply making the audience think you are one with them. That you can relate to their interests or what they do. For example, if you’re speech is about Public Clean-up Initiatives, you ask questions about what makes the audience feel uneasy when they are outside. What can make them act, what incentives? Even if they don’t answer verbally, they have something in mind which will make them itch to respond, then you’ve done your job.

Body Language – there are a lot to throw around on this topic so I’ll leave you to research on this (reading is good practice for public speaking) but best ones I teach in my workshops are:

  • Point your toes towards the person you are talking to
  • Avoid crossing (or any of your) arms from your body
  • Never point a finger, use open palm
  • Eye contact and smiling
  • Big movements mean tension
  • Avoid touching your face (this implicates lying or tension)

This last bit may not have been pointed out earlier but here are also some topics to avoid, and I strictly go by this because this will definitely cause reactions you would not want. Stay clear of topics touching on RELIGION, POLITICS, RACE, and SEXUAL ORIENTATIONS and other taboo topics that you can come up with. Again, it’s best to research on what may offend particular groups.

  1. How do you improve Public Speaking?

Organize your thoughts, topics and your message. Coming up with a game plan and a digestible flow of ideas will make your audience understand you more. Jumping from one topic to something not related will trigger your audience to change mind-set, and then you’ll have to gain momentum. Be concise with your ideas and stop beating around the bush. Start with an impactful statement and end with an impactful question/challenge to keep their thoughts on your topic.

 

Speaking isn’t all about charisma and your material. If you have poor diction, everything else will not be attractive. If you speak softly, people will fall asleep or become restless. If you talk slow or too fast, it causes them to loose attention. Speaking clearly, enunciating, articulating, emphasis, proper volume and tone all play a dynamic role in winning a crowd. Being an English-speaking country, we have the capacity to connect and impress on a certain level of expectation. Being able to speak the universal language gives you an edge, being able to speak it on an advanced level impresses a lot of people. Couple this with awesomely prepared and rehearsed material and you are golden. Imagine a stand up comedian who’s got bad diction, may it be your local dialect or language, if it’s not clear, your audience will not laugh.

 

These are just a few of the best elaborate tips. If you want to learn more public speaking or live event hosting, I offer a workshop that can help you become your best self.

Like me on Facebook – www.facebook.com/moxxdeverapro and send me a message. Maybe you’d also like to engage me in intelligent conversations, drop me a message and I’d be delighted to respond.

Visit my website www.moxxthehost.com for more information about me and I’ll see you around!

By Moxx de Vera, Professional Host and Speaking Coach

 

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Standing in front of people, in a crowd of a dozen to as big as stadium can be totally nerve-wracking and 7 out of 10 people will say that it is not their thing. Not everyone was born to speak in public and definitely not everyone was bred to do this professionally.

Public speaking is a skill developed over achievements, failures and a variety of experience. While others just see someone speaking in front to deliver a message, the speaker finds it a whole lot different on the other side. Preparation, confidence and the ability to connect will always be key to say what is needed to be said in the best possible manner.

I have been a professional speaker as a live event host for 7 years now. I started as a radio jock and have gone over a wide variety of experience in different types of media. I

grew into this role not having been able to learn this formally because there’s not much avenue to explore it with. There is no formal schooling for this skill. In the last 2 years, I realized that there’s a need to inform and educate the younger generation on how to do this. Gone were the days where everything was read in books and individuals would sit, listen and learn about something. Everything is online, on video, on blogs. So this is my attempt to reach that market, to educate and teach this as quick and as thorough as possible.

Main questions raised on starting to learn public speaking is, of course “how?”

To give you an idea on “how to,” this means you’re highly interested but have no clue, and that’s why you are reading this. Don’t worry, I am going to share with you some simple trade secrets that you are surely just ashamed to ask because you don’t want people to know you have no clue and you don’t know who to actually – ask.

  1. How do you prepare for public speaking?

Preparation is a very underrated method to succeed. This is the practice of the best and the most famous people and the newbies can’t wait to get from point A to C and forget to pass point B. Preparation can mean a whole planet of things: getting enough sleep, reading and researching for your topic, picking the right clothes, mapping out your notes, and more. Getting ahead a few days before will also do a lot for you.

Confidence starts by being self-assured. If you know what you’re going to say, what to answer, how to look and do things before people even think it, you are on your way to

the top, actually doing those successfully means you have achieved it. Lawyers don’t come into a courtroom without a strategy, a game plan and a retort to every counter-defense the opposing team may have on them. Boxers prepare physically and mentally before every fight. They try to simulate the opponents condition, fight pattern and strategy and make sure to be better than their opponent with every strand of their being. With this, you have nothing more to fear.

So how do you prepare for a specific engagement? You go through your objectives and think of how you can tie them together with your goals. If it’s a speech, you can create a script, practice in front of a mirror. For key-note speaking, rehearse your slides and prepare notes on an index card. If it’s hosting an event, research about who you’re doing it for, get to know the people involved, the crowd. If it’s a presentation, flip over your material back and forth and ask someone to listen to you if you can get the message across.

  1. How do you avoid nervousness and tension?

The body and brain works together to make a fine-tuned machine work. You think and your brain does. Nervousness is caused by lack of confidence because you lack preparation. This causes chemical reactions to your body which causes you to breathe lightly, causing your muscles to tense up, sweat builds up, your heart pounds and realizing that your body has reacted like this makes you even more nervous knowing

you are already nervous.

You must know that muscles need blood to maintain vigor. Healthy blood needs oxygen and oxygen comes from relaxed deep breaths. Do this and your whole body and mind reacts positively. You’ll think more clear and you’ll be more confident.

  1. How do you connect to your audience?

In sales, they will have to teach you a few things to succeed. Profiling, probing and

finding the common ground are few of the things a powerful salesman are good at.

Profiling – knowing your audience increases your chances to connect to them. Be relatable, be empathetic. It is rare that you’ll speak in front of a random crowd so just in case you don’t know your DEMOGRAPHICS, SOCIAL CLASS and their influences. For example, age groups between 18-21 are most likely college students. They definitely have shorter attention than adults so you have to be quick, entertaining and insightful in the first 5 minutes. Social class C-D won’t be able to relate to luxurious and glamorous ideas. A group of doctors will not have time listen to non-medical talks.

Probing – this simply means asking the right questions and zoning in to get to your goal and using the information you gathered to make your ideas stronger. Free speech also enables you to engage your audience and connect it to your point making it more impressive.

Common ground – is simply making the audience think you are one with them. That you can relate to their interests or what they do. For example, if you’re speech is about Public Clean-up Initiatives, you ask questions about what makes the audience feel uneasy when they are outside. What can make them act, what incentives? Even if they don’t answer verbally, they have something in mind which will make them itch to respond, then you’ve done your job.

Body Language – there are a lot to throw around on this topic so I’ll leave you to research on this (reading is good practice for public speaking) but best ones I teach in my workshops are:

  • Point your toes towards the person you are talking to
  • Avoid crossing (or any of your) arms from your body
  • Never point a finger, use open palm
  • Eye contact and smiling
  • Big movements mean tension
  • Avoid touching your face (this implicates lying or tension)

This last bit may not have been pointed out earlier but here are also some topics to avoid, and I strictly go by this because this will definitely cause reactions you would not want. Stay clear of topics touching on RELIGION, POLITICS, RACE, and SEXUAL ORIENTATIONS and other taboo topics that you can come up with. Again, it’s best to research on what may offend particular groups.

  1. How do you improve Public Speaking?

Organize your thoughts, topics and your message. Coming up with a game plan and a digestible flow of ideas will make your audience understand you more. Jumping from one topic to something not related will trigger your audience to change mind-set, and then you’ll have to gain momentum. Be concise with your ideas and stop beating around the bush. Start with an impactful statement and end with an impactful question/challenge to keep their thoughts on your topic.

Speaking isn’t all about charisma and your material. If you have poor diction, everything else will not be attractive. If you speak softly, people will fall asleep or become restless. If you talk slow or too fast, it causes them to lose attention. Speaking clearly, enunciating, articulating, emphasis, proper volume and tone all play a dynamic role in winning a crowd. Being an English-speaking country, we have the capacity to connect and impress on a certain level of expectation. Being able to speak the universal language gives you an edge, being able to speak it on an advanced level impresses a lot of people. Couple this with an awesomely prepared and rehearsed material and you are golden. Imagine a stand up comedian who’s got bad diction, may it be your local dialect or language, if it’s not clear, your audience will not laugh.

These are just a few

of the best elaborate tips. If you want to learn more public speaking or live event hosting, I offer a workshop that can help you become your best self.

Like me on Facebook – www.facebook.com/moxxdeverapro and send me a message. Maybe you’d also like to engage me in intelligent conversations, drop me a message and I’d be delighted to respond.

Good Day!

To know about my terms and conditions for my services, please feel free to download my Service Agreement form through the link below:

Service Agreement Template

If you agree with these terms, kindly fill it up and return back to me through a scanned email or hard copy (whichever is more convenient) to officially book me as the host for your next event.
I am looking forward to hearing from you real soon.

As mere mortals where (barely) nothing lasts forever, we run scared of losing something dear to us. We anger ourself and look for something rational to blame. 

Technically, love cannot (and really, should not) be measured. We know the term unconditional love but we rationalize this, being mortals that we are, and compartmentalize its existence in our lives. What we give and recieve is no longer “unconditional” because of the complication from the concept of free will. We start to factor in our life which inhibits us from loving unconditionally or believing such exists. Mothers may give unconditional love but (some) may still have inner emotional battles depending on a circumstance that is complicated, we weigh-in the pros and cons.

We can be truly free from the IFs and BUTs of our complexed existence and love unconditionally when we start to accept our lives has been written and everything we own is only “borrowed”.

Follow me on facebook – Moxx the Host for more quotes, banters, uploads and event-hosting inquiries

 

Have you ever been stuck in rut and thought to yourself where you are headed when you thought to have had a plan? Don’t stress. We lose sight of the path because of the length of our journey but focusing on the prize and our objectives will bring us back to the right path. 

If you want the best, not mediocre, you need to see it from all angles, perfect it, make it seamless. FINISH the plan from step 1 to the last. You’ll know when it’s ready. 

Be patient, the best has always yet to come. 

“Stop challenging fate as it has already been written. You are most likely to lose. 

Best you can do is accept the card that you’ve been dealt with and device a way to keep happy in the process.”

We are sentimental beings and because of our emotions, our judgement is clouded thus affecting how we function as humans. 

Some of us are “go-getters”, agressive, control-freaks and we can’t help the insatiable desire to reach our goals or aspirations but through hogher powers, I believe we exist with a destiny lined up. We all move in a constant web of instances that lead to one end. Our existence is a chain of events that we have to live through like a “choose your own adventure” kind of book. We were given free will to live out our choices but the end result is the same. Sad to say but in junction with this, some are destined to meet the maker sooner whether it be self inflicted or through an outside force. Everything happens for a reason and has been written. We have the power to live it with choices we make. 

This said, let us live life to the fullest but with the proper choices. Accept whatever fate we have and let life run its course. It is no one’s fate to live poor, sad and unhealthy and the power of FREE+WILL helps us get through it. Choose to be better, choose to be happy, choose to be healthy because when we end, nothing and everything matters. 

…oh but it is…

I’ve seen a lot of post on Facebook lately touching on the topic “Where did all the good men go…” which got me thinking, these women have no clue that their answer to that does not come with a box of requirements. Fact of the matter is that these women are probably too busy looking when they also don’t have a clue what they are searching for. Keyword: clueless.

Most women with strong personalities know what they want, what type of man they are on the lookout for. If the men they prefer are somewhat like them, then they are probably in the right place to search, then again there are some who scream “scarcity!” in that department.

Just to fully relate specifically on circumstances I’ve stumbled upon, women who have failed relationships over and over are the ones who actually say this. They are victims of unrequited love or sometimes taken for granted or the like. They often get attracted to men who “need help” or for better lack of words, losers. As part of the male species, I feel shame for my fellow-man who are in a relationship but not on top of it. Chivalry is not dead, it is just absent in selected few. Going back, the men who creates a total imbalance in the relationship is the reason women think there’s scarcity. There are a lot of  sausages but few are really franks. Women, (and this can be totally applied vice versa as well) being more emotionally affectionate have what I call the “Evangelist-Savior Complex”. It’s not a medical (psychological) term and I just made it up but for discussion, here’s what it is:

It is the perpetual attraction to someone who needs help or is attractive because of his/her weaknesses. This person has the insatiable desire to be the one to make the other finally happy or successful. This challenges them and continually motivates them.

These women/men will later regret since their chosen partner has weaker will than them. Then the “where did all the good men go..” line becomes tomorrows headline again.

One truth is, good men and women want to settle down because they are high achievers, the go-getters and you will find them in places that have good vibes and where education and self-development takes place, travelling, the office (or busy working), some are mostly at home resting or kicking back with something that makes them even better people. Some express themselves in different ways, you’ll find them immersed in arts, music, sports…I’m not saying good guys that are not in these that I’ve mentioned are not great. Then again, when you ask women/men what their hearts say, you’ll notice a pattern and it does fall in the same space of what I just mentioned.

When women/men want to distract themselves, they go to places where getting into ones personal bubble is fairly easy, getting to know at the 2nd level is not always required and this is NOT just about bars and clubs. Think about it.

A friend also commented on a post that good men that are hard to find are all over the religious groups. The opposite sex sometimes don’t easily get attracted with them since they don’t easily show qualities dictated by media. Not because they are in harmony with their religion means thats all they do. Admit it, you think the naughty stuff is cool to some extent and you want that first before you settle with someone who has already let go of worldly and Godly things.

Lastly, the most common reason they can’t find Mr. Right is the ever popular – “friendzone”. Both men and women will deny ever condemning an opposite sex to the friendzone. Some do this unintentionally  but because people have standards never care to look deeper. Do you know why the underdog story is always popular? Because underdogs are hungrier, they are willing to give everything and charge it to experience.   The people who have had the most and worst rejections are often the most successful. When the underdogs finally figure it out, they have limitless experience and knowledge at their disposal.

I’m sure there are arguable points here and a lot more reasons but a blog can only handle so much. Feel free to agree, disagree, argue or share your own insights.

As a professional, and I’m sure everyone would like to be regarded as one of high class, it is always common courtesy to return/answer a missed call or a text message regardless of its intent. 

You may not always want what’s in store for you on the other end of the line but you are skilled and classy enough to manage it. 

There would be times that we get so busy in life that we forget to respond to important messages. This is just one of the things going on with a professional’s daily grind. We would also be caught doing something important that we need to keep our gadgets and this delays responses to emails, calls and text messages. Most of the time, especially during work hours/days, this can be critical. There are also times these are just personal messages we did not intend to miss.

The reason behind returning a call or SMS, or better yet, answering them is simple: because it might be important. If you were on the other end of the trail, you would hate to be left hanging. You would definitely hate being ignored and this gives you more reason to be responsible in managing these whenever possible. 

How would you feel if in the biggest presentation of your life, your partner didn’t get to print hardcopies for your client, you call the office for backup but nobody answers. You call your partner and doesn’t pick up? Or the only way you can get a client’s answer is through email and you need their answer in the next two hours and get no response. A minute lasts like eternity, right? 

Whatever the reason may be, there is a need to pickup a call, SMS, email, etc or get back as soon as possible. If you are smart and classy enough, you will be able to handle even the worst situation and come out relieved. 

We are professionals, ones of high class. Let us always act like one.

This is another idea created for you soon-to-be wedded couples.

Truth is, there are a lot of people getting married. I know, I host most of them in a year. If you were in my position going to different weddings for different people, you’ll see the contrast between each and every one of it. It’s practically the same, I just make it different so that I also enjoy the event. It’s called a celebration anyway.

So here’s another tip for you love birds, something for your garter retrieval or maybe something to do to keep your guests entertained. Hard fact of the matter is, unless you give your participants incentive or a reason to play this game, they will not play so best if you prepare prizes, or if you use this as your garter retrieval game for the single men or as replacement of the bouquet toss for the women, you got yourself a fun game.

The game is called PROPS! as the title suggests. The participants are split into pairs (or may be done individually), each given a different unusual prop. The pairs alternate at the prompting of the host’s buzzer, giving short scenes using their prop in a unique way. The game typically results in a series rapid-fire one- or two-liners, especially in later playings. Another way to run this is to hand out one prop at a time and use for each contestant. The contestant who can’t think of anything in a snap is considered out. The winner or the last man/woman standing gets to choose among the rest of the non-winning players who will take the garter from the lovely single woman.

To get what I’m talking about…

For more wedding ideas, games and anything related to hosting, please feel to check out my blog and links on my blogsite: https://moxxthehost.wordpress.com